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Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Do Parents Need a License?
Customers of the auto dealership I was working at the time, they took a liking to me. The Mrs. practically begged me to help her out with the kids in the evenings. Thinking what the heck, I agreed. I guess I felt bad that this couple, although professional career oriented people did not have the life skills or the parental instinct to care for their children.
Either they were never home or just did not know how to do things. Simple things… like get dinner ready, go food shopping, dress the kids, bath the kids, help with their homework and wash clothes. I never saw them discipline or teach the kids any life lessons. It was not because they didn’t have the time. They purposely had other people in their home, so they didn’t have to be. There were no hugs, no I love you’s,no touching. No quality. It was all rather cold.
The nanny and I became close friends. Actually she was like the sister I never had. We worked together for several years. The environment I observed was not one I considered healthy for the kids, but I didn’t want to quit this ‘job’ for the children’s sake. We were providing the nurturing they needed. Eventually I did leave because it started to interfere with my life. The kids are now 14 and 8. We are all still in contact, but unfortunately the atmosphere they are still living in has not improved. This is now reflected in their behaviors.
I always pondered why some women just don’t have that motherly instinct. Or a father doesn't know how to be a Dad. How some people just don’t have life skills ?
Is this something we are taught or something we are just born with?
Now, don't get me wrong. I am totally for parents making the decision to work outside the home and having day care. If you can afford a nanny for your children...go for it. I was a single mother, so I know.
But, it does amaze me when I see people with children who clearly do not want them or do not have the life skills to care for them, nor process any parental instinct. Did they just live the life they thought they should? Their goal being to get married and have kids. It seems to me that the children are the ones who suffer.
It seems we all need a license for something. To drive, to operate a business, to get married, to perform services such as manicures, a hairdresser, electrician, plumber etc…
The most important and hardest job we can have is to be a parent. Maybe we should all be required to obtain a license before having children…
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