A Chuckle for Saturday

CASH FOR CLUNKERS..........I QUALIFY
IF MY BODY WERE A CAR...

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish, and my paint job is getting a little dull. But that's not the worst of it. My headlights are out of focus, and it's especially hard to see things up close.

My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.

My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins. It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here's the worst of it --


Almost every time I sneeze, cough or laugh, either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires.

CASH FOR CLUNKERS..........I QUALIFY - How about You?

Facebook Reunites

When I first joined Facebook, I really didn't think about connecting with anyone from my past. I was actually just socializing with people I already knew and family.

Then came the games my friends got me hooked on. I can not believe how addicting they can be. I find myself playing 4 different games daily. geez...

Well, this last week, I have reconnected with most of my childhood friends. People I knew from when I was six years old until 18. I can't tell you the memories that came flooding back. The happy times at eachothers houses. Life really was simple back then, wasn't it?

Wiffle ball, hide and go seek, bicycle riding, tag, kickball, pool parties and even collecting lighting bugs!

One of those friends had a great idea and put us all on a email group list. Now we can write to eachother and catch up. Most everyone has written an email. It has been really nice to catch up on our lives...what has transpired since we were all about 18years old.

Has anyone else experienced such a nice happening while using Facebook? I know social sites can cause damage to relationships and I have been hearing that alot lately. It even touched my own life in that way recently, but that's a whole other story...

I'd Like to Resign from Adulthood

I received this from a bulletin on myspace from a friend, and it was so great to read this, so whoever the author is, I totally congradulate you for this.


I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year-old again.

I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant.

I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make a sidewalk with rocks.

I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them.

I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer's day.

I want to return to a time when life was simple, when all you knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, but that didn't bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care. All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you worried or upset.

I want to think the world is fair. That everyone is honest and good.

I want to believe that anything is possible.

I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again.

I want to live simple again.

I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness, and loss of loved ones.

I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word,
truth, justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind, and making angels in the snow.

So . . here's my checkbook and my car keys, my credit card bills and my 401K statements. I am officially resigning from adulthood.

How many of us feel this way from time to time?

Alittle Wednesday Humor

I guess I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. I've been home sick and the weather here is awful. Been raining for days, which isn't helping with my mood.

I came across this joke and it brought a smile...maybe someone else out there needs a smile today.

The Italian Secret of a Long Marriage?

At Saint Mary's Catholic Church they have a weekly husband's marriage seminar.. At the session last week, the Priest asked Mario, who was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.??

Mario replied to the assembled husbands, 'Wella, I've a-tried to treat-a her nicea, spenda da money on her, but besta of alla is that I tooka her to Italy for the 25th anniversary!'?

The Priest responded, 'Mario, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary.'??

Mario proudly replied, 'I'm a-gonna go get her.'

Swimming With Dolphins

Back in February I posted about “My Bucket List”. This list contained some things I wanted to do or get done this year. With my recent trip to Mexico, I did get to cross off a few items on that list: My first plane trip, visiting an island (Cozumel), seeing something majestic and one of my favorite things I was able to do while in Mexico was to swim with dolphins. What made it more special was being able to experience this with my guy.

Oh boy it was amazing! We were in the water at least an hour. At first I was taken back because I didn’t know the dolphins would swim so close to you. Like a cat, they rubbed up against you…looked you in the eye…and as if they’re smiling at you they’re saying….I want to play! Before getting into the water, we received instruction on what to do and what not to do. They told us that you couldn’t touch a dolphin on the top of their head and they really don’t like their fin to be held onto. I was being so careful as to not hit those spots.

To me, a dolphin felt ‘fake’….like rubber or vinyl. Very Smooth and silky. I did get to experience some of their power because as the trainer stood on the platform above us, he threw a fish to our dolphin who was just swimming around in front of me. As the fish hit the water, a bird came swooping down to try to snatch it up and that made the dolphin swim faster. As our dolphin came around, her tail hit my leg. Wow…that moved me in the water! Such power! I can imagine the power and strength this aminal has. My leg stung for a bit, but I was so excited to be playing with dolphins, I forgot all about it. Hopefully you can make all that out in the picture below…..the bird is the blurry spot on the right hand side.


I have gotten my first “kiss” from a dolphin and below is the picture when she came up and landed in the palm of my hand.


After a little play time, the trainer showed us some of her tricks…My guy and I locked arms and the dolphin danced in front of us, splashed us in the face and then laughed at us, jumped over us and swam so fast around us, we were stuck in a whirlpool with waves! It was great ... That was the best hour spent! Truly an amazing experience.

Have any of you swam with dolphins? Such beautiful, friendly and loving creatures of the sea. Did you know the dolphin is a descendant of the wolf? That’s pretty crazy right? But, that’s what we learned.

The 'Old' Version of My Favorite Things

How many remember watching the movie The Sound of Music? A timeless classic starring Julie Andrews. A very popular song from that movie was "My Favorite Things".
I'm sure you can hum that tune right now.

To commemorate her birthday, actress/vocalist, Julie Andrews made a special
appearance at Manhattan 's Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP.

One of the musical numbers she performed was 'My Favorite Things' from the Sound Of Music.

She changed the lyrics...If you sing it, its especially funny!

Botox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Cadillacs and cataracts, hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the pipes leak, When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunion s,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Back pain, confused brains and no need for sinnin',
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',
And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,
When we remember our favorite things.

When the joints ache, When the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I've had,
And then I don't feel so bad.

I just love a great sense of humor.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2009

When...

1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile :0)

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list

14. You actually checked to see there wasn't a #9 on this list.

Have a Great Weekend…

Some Fun & Interesting Facts

Did You Know?

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died because of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.

Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?

A. Their birthplace
******
Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?

A. Obsession
******
Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter 'A'?

A. One thousand
******
Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers have in common?

A. All were invented by women.
******
Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?

A. Honey
******
Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?

A. Father's Day
******
In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase ... 'Goodnight, sleep tight'
******
It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.
******
In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England , when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them 'Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.'
******
It's where we get the phrase 'mind your P's and Q's'
******
Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. 'Wet your whistle' is the phrase inspired by this practice.

Friday Nite Humor

Every once in awhile, I post jokes or a humorous story to bring a smile or a laugh to you. I believe laughter is good medicine and I personally love to laugh. When something strikes me so funny, I love the feeling I get from just laughing outloud.

This joke found it's way into my 'inbox' and I did chuckle outloud. You don't have to own a cat to appreciate this or even like them. Hope you enjoy this one~

SAYING GOODBYE TO MOTHER

We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.

We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house.

The cat we had put out in the yard, scoots back into the house. We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird.

My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon,

'He's just going upstairs to say Goodbye to my mother.'

A few minutes later, I get into the cab. 'Sorry I took so long,' I said, as we drove away. 'That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to takeoff, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!'

The cab driver hit a parked car.

Optical Illusions

THIS IS A CEILING MURAL IN A SMOKER'S LOUNGE



There's another..below.

BATHROOM PAINTED FLOOR

IMAGINE YOU ARE AT A PARTY...Tenth floor of a hi-rise building...

AND THEN YOU HAVE TO VISIT THE BATHROOM...

You open the door...
NOW, REMEMBER .......THE FLOOR IS JUST A PAINTED FLOOR!

KINDA TAKES YOUR BREATH AWAY.....

DOESN'T IT?





Would this play with your mind??? Would you be able to walk into
this bathroom??? I wouldn't be able to.

Do You Believe in Wives Tales?

The other day at work while a few of us were discussing a project, my left palm started to itch. I blurted out...ohhh, I'm going to get some money!

While a couple people looked at me like I was crazy, one person knew what I was referring to when I explained about my palm itching. An old wives tale...

I heard so many while growing up. Our conversation then turned to the tales we've heard. We are all from different backgrounds, lived in different states as kids and it was interesting and fun to hear the different tales we've heard from our parents. We laughed alot at some of the tales we were sharing...

Here's Some:

Drop a spoon off the table and you'll have a visitor

If you Knock over the salt shaker, you have to throw some salt over your left shoulder to ward off bad luck

If your Right palm itches, you'll have a visitor

If your Left palm itches, you'll receive money

If your nose itches, you'll get into a fight

When you hear ringing in your ear, someone is talking about you


What is a Wives Tale?

An old wives tale is said to be much like an urban legend. These tales are generally passed down from generation to generation. Such 'tales' usually consist of superstition, folklore or unverified claims with exaggerated and/or untrue details.

Most old wives' tales are false and are used to discourage unwanted behavior, usually in children.

Here are some tales from Wikipedia that parents might have used on their children. Have you heard any of these?

Handling a baby bird will cause it to be rejected by its parents. False. Most birds have such a limited sense of smell, they can't detect the scent of a human

Habitual knuckle-cracking causes arthritis. False.

Eating faster will make you fat. False

Chewing gum, if swallowed, remains inside your body for seven years. False. Chewing gum is excreted like any other undigested piece of food or stray object swallowed

If you make a face and the wind changes direction, your face will stay that way. False

If you touch a toad, you'll get warts. False

If you have a stye, you must have read or watched pornographic materials. False.

If you sneeze with your eyelids open, your eyes will pop out of their sockets. False

I have to admit, as silly as some of those are, my mom used a few of them on me.

While the subject of wives tales can be superstitious to some, others believe a few they've heard. Coincidence or not, I do really get money after my palm itches!

Well, this subject made us laugh and brought back some memories of our parents and growing up as a child. I hope you experienced the same.

Why don't you share some old wives tales you've heard while growing up. Please leave a comment...

In My Perfect World...

In a perfect world, I would have a log cabin in the woods in the mountains and a cottage like home near the ocean to live in. They are my two favorite places....the ocean and the mountains.

This weekend I had the opportunity to get away for the weekend at my friends trailer at a campsite in Cape May. It wasn't exactly camping nor roughing it in the woods. Unlike some, we had all the amenities of home...running water, a bathroom/shower, wide screen TV, electric, stove etc..

But, we still had the feeling of being in the woods...connecting with nature. With the other campers, we lit our fire at night in the fire pit, we sat around just bonding and talking. It was a great feeling. The air was clean and the smell of the fires lingered in the air. It was just so peaceful and quiet.

The best part was that we were only 10 minutes away from the ocean. In the morning, we packed up and went to the beach. Spent the day absorbing the sun, listening to the sound of the waves and then the most wonderful, peaceful thing happened. We were able to watch dolphins frolic in the water. They came in pairs... jumping out of the water for us to watch. More came, then a mother and her babies. The dolphins stayed in front of us for like 15 minutes. I just wanted to swim out to them and play along...

The dolphins weren't that far off from the beach. It was the most beautiful thing to watch and a calm feeling came over me.

When we were ready to leave, we packed up and headed back to the campsite. Barbecued dinner and then relaxed...and we knew we could do it all over again the next day.

It was a really great weekend. I felt I was able to get a piece of my perfect world, even if it was only for the weekend. A getaway that was much needed...

In a perfect world, where would you live?

You're Never Too Old...

Ok, so at age 50... well almost, I am considering doing something I have always wanted to do. You may be surprised at what I'm about to say, but I have always wanted to try paintball.

My friends who have gone, always come back from paintballing with great stories and share how much fun it is. I guess I still have a bit of tomboy in me from when I was little.

I'm told I do need to wear protective paintball clothing because when getting hit with paintballs, they hurt. Well, I do not intend to get hit by any paintballs..ha

My son and a group of his friends are getting together to reserve a paintball field, so I asked if I can join them. I am trying to talk my son's girlfriend into going with me.

He just visited the Ultimate Paintball site and purchased this Tippmann 98. He always has to have the best when doing something. He said he'd rather buy his paintball gear than rent it. This way he'll have it for another time instead of spending money 'renting' paintball equipment. Makes sense...and it'll save him money in the long run.

I don't know if I'm going to purchase a Tippmann also or other paintball equipment. It might be best if I rent until after I try paintball first, but they are selling a Gen-X GXG Stealth Goggles Paintball Mask for only
$18.95. That's something I'd rather have then rent a mask so many other people have worn.

Ultimate Paintball seems to offer the best prices and gives you free shipping, so if you're in the market for any paintballs or paintball gear, go take a look and save yourself some money.

Planning a Vacation This Summer?

I know many people look forward to the summer months when the kids are out of school to plan their vacation.

I remember way back when, taking my son to Orlando to experience the wonder of Disney World.
What a wonderful time and the memories are still fresh. Seeing Disney through the eyes of my son when he was young, brought a new dimension to the trip. The best memory was when he was feeding the dolphins at Sea World. The look on his face was priceless. He just couldn't believe he was that close and actually touching a dolphin. He just kept looking at us with this look of amazement. We literally had to drag him away when it was time to go.

This year I won't be taking a vacation due to the time off I have had due to illness, but since I live so close to New York, there are so many Things to do in New York City. I can escape to New York and go see a play, take a tour, visits museums and art galleries, go to Rockefeller Center, eat at fabulous restaurants, visit the Statue of Liberty (which I have never done) or even take a relaxing lunch or dinner cruise.

Trusted Tours & Attractions may be able to help you with ideas about where to take your vacation this summer and things you can do. On their site they provide reviews of tours, so you can make the best decisions and make the most of your trip. Take a look at their top picks because that might also help in making a decision on where to go.

They offer discounted tickets to the best sightseeing tours in 23 cities across the United States, which will save you some money.

Trusted Tours & Attractions also provide a 100% guarantee. If you are not satisfied with any of their tours, you can contact their customer service department and receive a full refund. Can't beat that...

Visit TrustedTours.com and you can have the chance to win a $150 itunes gift card by signing up for their newsletter. The contest ends May 31 2008.

For "CHICKS" Only

I just stumbled on the best site and I wanted to share it with you. It's such a fantastic idea and I am sure you women will agree.

How many of you have taken a Chick vacation? One where you can just be yourself, without the men in your lives? A trip for total female bonding: to share your thoughts, your experiences, ideas and life's problems. A trip where you receive the nourishing support one needs from a girlfriend. Maybe even a trip to catch up with friends who you haven't seen in awhile.

Let's face it...men have been taking male bonding trips...those fishing trips, hunting trips and even the baseball tournament outings. Now it's OUR turn to not feel guilty to get away and experience a trip with the girls. I know I feel a calming affect when I am with the girls for a night or even when I have gotten away to have some fun. It's a lasting affect and one I believe we all need.

Don't have a girlfriend who is able to get away with you? At Chickable...life's a chick trip...you can locate other women who share your interests and passions for a group getaway. This trip could be for a night, a weekend or an extended vacation. Meet new friends and connect with other women. Experience the 'feel good' benefits of getting away with your friends. Alone time so to speak from your significant other, husband, children, the stress of everyday life.

Taking a chick trip is a chance to take time for ourselves that we often don't do. To love ourselves...to rejuvenate.

Chickable is also promoting a chance to win a free chick trip. Visit Chickable.com to sign up for free.

Your thoughts? Have you ever taken a chick trip? What did you like best about getting away with the girls?

Adults Like To Play Games Too!

Simone at Outfit Inspirations has been extremely busy working on the Great Christmas Scavenger Hunt. This idea of hers enables the blogger community to join in some fun.

The Christmas Scavenger Hunt has officially begun!



Children can’t have all the fun! We adults like to play games too!

Now here’s your chance to put your intuitive, investigative nature to work and have a chance to win an IPOD.

Simone is definitely feeling the Christmas Spirit and wants to bring cheer to others.

To take part in the Christmas Scavenger Hunt, you must download the official entry form. You can click here

The objective of this online scavenger hunt is to collect a bunch of hidden Christmas Letters using the clues on the Entry Form. The catch? These Christmas letters are scattered throughout different sites on the web. When you find the answer to the clues, you will also see a clickable button. When you click on it, it will bring you to the next site.

That's it! Have fun and meet some friends along the way. If you are the lucky winner, you will receive an IPOD to enjoy and always remember you received it through the Great Christmas Scavenger Hunt made possible by Simone.

Thank you Simone for all your hard work!