A place to inspire, motivate and encourage by providing posts on self improvement, health, family, women (and men), life, prayer, poems, quotes of wisdom and share ideas about life.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Are You Thankful?

I woke this morning feeling thankful…why does it take something horrible to happen in our lives before some are truly thankful and appreciate what they have?

We take so much for granted. Why do some wait until a holiday like Christmas to feel the love and share the warmth or Thanksgiving to express our thanks and say a prayer before the big dinner?

My saying is…”it can always be worse”. Be thankful for what we have and count our blessings now…

I have my senses about me…(ok, except for the senior in training moments!), I can see the world around me, touch my loved ones, smell the ocean and hear my favorite music. I couldn’t imagine being without. I have my health, my family, a job/business to attend to, which allows me a comfortable home, food on the table and other necessities.

I can walk in the sun and dance to my favorite song…

Life has a way of keeping us all busy, but we should slow down every once in a while and be thankful…appreciate each other and what we have in our lives. Tell those we love how much.

I'm thankful I don't have everything I want, it gives me something to hope for and desire. I'm thankful when I don't know something because then I have the opportunity to learn something new. During the difficult times, I grow as a person. I'm thankful for challenges because I find new strength. My mistakes give me the opportunity to learn lessons. I'm thankful that I try to turn each negative into a positive.

When I pray, I say thank you. Do you?

Thursday's Chuckle


Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Coping With Grief

Losing a loved one can be one of the most difficult and stressful experience we ever face in our lives. Yet an experience we all, unfortunately, will have to face and cope with at some point in our lives.

As my Dear Zubli wrote in a comment he left for me:

For each of us the inevitable moment. The one has returned to reality. While we are still in this movie, we shall prefer to say, I know that I shall pass this way but once, lest I forget to safeguard my only one chance, let me give purposefully the best now here and in the here after I shall gain, for I shall never ever pass this way again.

Loss can include the break-up of a relationship, a miscarriage, the termination of pregnancy, separation from family and friends (homesickness), loss of health, moving. Other forms of loss can still touch us so profoundly, such as the death of a pet or if you happen to be a medical or nursing student, you may have experienced feelings of loss when a patient dies. With loss comes a strong feeling that part of our emotional world has changed forever and can never be retrieved or made good.

When my cousin unexpectedly lost her husband at the age of 47 in April 2007 and then loosing her mom (my aunt) one month later, I wrote a Squidoo Lens on How To Cope With Grief.

Truth be known, it really was a way to help myself over come the grief I was feeling. Losing my Dad 7 years ago still feels like yesterday. I find that when someone close to me crosses over, it stirs up memories and sadness I felt from a loved one that previously passed on.

Doing research for my Squidoo Lens on the various forms of grief and finding ways to help get through it, made me realize that what I was feeling was a normal response to loss. It was very helpful to me and so I wanted to share it with others.

Now as I feel myself riding this carousel of loss once again, I turned to my own Squidoo Lens for support.

If you are experiencing any type of loss, please read How to Cope with Grief.
I hope it offers support and helps get you through.

I give you this one thought to keep
I am with you still -- I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow, I am the diamond glints on snow, I am the sunlight on ripened grain, I am the gentle autumn rain. When you awaken in the morning's hush, I am the swift, uplifting rush of quiet birds in circled flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not think of me as gone -- I am with you still -- in each new dawn

Sunday, August 26, 2007

God Wanted Her More

I wanted to take time to Thank those who stopped by and offered prayers and well wishes for my friend Natalie. I just can't express how your kindness touched me.
But, God Wanted Her More...she is now at peace, soaring with the angels. She will always have a piece of my heart. Til we meet again Nat...
Losing A Loved One
By Shirley H. Brunson

Although your heart is hurting,
And you feel you can't go on
Know in that very moment
Your loved one wasn't alone

For God was there beside them
Holding onto their hand
As the time drew nearer
For them to leave this land

He held them close and whispered
"My child, your time is now"
"But how will my loved ones go on?"
He whispered, "I will show them how"

"I will give them strength and love"
And comfort in the night,
I will fill their hearts with peace
Knowing you had wings as you took flight

You no longer walk amongst them
For now you fly above
With all my Heavenly angels
Spreading ever lasting and eternal love

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Help Find a Long Lost Friend

While over at NAFASG - United And Dedicated Behind You ,I came across the below post.

In the name of friendship, please take the time to read this post. You never know if you can be the one to unite these two friends.

If you ever find yourself in the same situation of looking for someone you have been separated from, there is a site called anywho.com you should be aware of. I had success using this site to find one of my mother's high school friends. Now they are enjoying the friendship they had many years ago. It brought new life to both of them.


Looking For A Long Lost Friend
Dear Readers,

We hope that you can spare some of your time reading this article. It would mean a lot to one of our good friends in the blogosphere, if you can help her in this.

Our good friend named Sandy is currently searching for a person whom she had always regarded as her best friend. They were very close to each other, until a conflict between them arose. Ever since then, both of them lost touch of each other.

It has been nine long years since they last communicated with each other, and Sandy is deeply affected by her best friend’s absence. Her greatest wish right now is to reunite with her best friend and be close to her like before.

SANDY G

Her best friend’s name is Judy Sanford and is staying with her husband named Mike. According to Sandy, she was last found to be staying in California. Whether she is still staying in California or not is still a question mark. But you could be the person to answer the question!

If you happened to know Judy and her whereabouts, kindly inform us or inform Sandy directly via her blog. Even if you have never heard of Judy, you can still do your part by spreading this heartfelt message via your blogs.

Your immediate response to this message is greatly appreciated. What we are doing may be something small, but if all of us can put our hands together and be part of the search, it can bring two best friends together again after nine long years.

Sandy, please be strong in going through this obstacle in your life. Have great faith that miracles can happen, always look on the bright side of life, and believe that your long awaited wish could come true. We are here for you and will do our best to help you.

Judy, if you are reading this, please contact Sandy as soon as possible. She really misses you and wants to make up for the lost times. Let bygones be bygones. Hope that you will reciprocate Sandy’s feelings as soon as you can.


NAFASG CERTIFIED PARTNER BADGE

Perception in Friendship

I was reading a post called 'The Stranger' on Wonderland or Not
The below is an excerpt of the post.

"Ever sit down to lunch with someone you thought you knew and have them say something which completely changes what you thought you knew of their character? Something which forever changes not only the way you view that person, but alters the ability to maintain a friendship with the individual? "

It got me thinking about a recent experience I had. A very close friend recently showed a side of her that quite amazed me and now my view of her has changed somewhat. Her actions and choices have damaged our close friendship. I understand every one's perception of a situation is different...but shouldn't we try to accept that, not judge or hold it against one another?

This friend was having a party, but I couldn't attend due to something suddenly needing my attention involving my company. My business calls for my complete attention at times and these pressing responsibilities had to be done. I did explain why I couldn't be there. After hearing she understood, I never thought this would ever evolve into the drama it has, never mind a friendship damaged beyond repair. Turns out she didn't understand at all... she was so disappointed, hurt and angry at me, she has avoided and ignored me for 2 months now. When I confronted her, she said she didn't know how to proceed...

wow....

As I am writing this, it sounds rather childish. I've been out of high school for quite some time. But, going back to the area of perception, I guess when people see things differently, it affects each in a different way. At first I was upset by this whole mess, but now my view of her has changed.

Has anything like this happened to you?
Have you ever disappointed or hurt someone unintentionally and had that person cut you from their life?



Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Having a Bad Day? Your Friends Will Pull You Thru

Have you ever had one of the days...the kind you just seem out of sorts. You wake up with worry on your mind, you ran late for work and along the way, get stuck in traffic. You finally arrive at work to find the phone already ringing, you spill your tea (or coffee) Then to top it off, your hormones take over and you feel bloated to the hilt...geez... it seems the whole day will be off kilter.

I so had one of those days on Monday. The mood was gloomy and I was quiet. Since I wasn't my usual chatty, smiley self, everyone in the office noticed and asked "what's wrong?" I have to admit, it felt good to have many people asking if everything was okay, but...the more I tried pushing the nagging negative thoughts away and switch gears, someone would ask and I'd take a step backwards.

BUT, it all changed when I arrived home to find a message from Marzie.


I simple message only saying she had something for me. Considering the day I had, I didn't know what to expect.
Well, let me tell you... when I saw how she thought of me, it brought my hormonal self into a misty eyed, smiley person once again. That's it...not the people at work asking what's wrong... a simple award for being nice.




An Internet friend, someone I haven't physically met. I just mentioned the power of Internet friends in my prior post.

Just when you lest expect something good, it shows up. Marzie, this couldn't have come at a better time and I thank you so much.
I wasn't able to show my appreciation on this blog on Monday because a more pressing post needed to be published. I figured I'd wait until Tuesday night to express my gratitude to Marzie and give out my own awards.

Come Tuesday, I received another surprise. My dear Zubli presented the same award to me. Lo and behold, an Internet friend who has been with me since day one. Someone I ran to first when I received sad news. I knew his empowering attitude would help me through the night. His words and support did help.

All that comes to mind at this very moment is: My Cup Runnth Over !

According to the originator of the Nice Matters award it is intended for


“those that are just nice people, good blog friends, and those that inspire good feelings and inspiration! Those that care about others, that are there to lend support, or those that are just a positive influence in our blogging world!”

I'd like to pass on awards to the following people:


A worn out women's journey


angie's organic reviews


Looking Beyond the Cracked Window


make money with Kassper


Jeanine's Bits and Pieces


Personal Development


Life to Success


Journey with Water Learner


Virtual Entrepreneur


Cell tech Hub

Thank you all for touching me with your friendship, your kindness, support, help, visits and for being the people you are. You make this world a better place.




Monday, August 20, 2007

Internet Bonds of Friendship

For anyone who thinks it is not possible to form strong bonds with "Internet" friends, you are mistaken. I have mentioned on several occasions friends I have met through myspace. A couple friends have even been guest writers here.

With all the bad hype myspace and other communities receive, I will defend it. It is up to you who you choose to connect with. Like attracts Like. If it wasn't for myspace or mybloglog, I would never had the opportunity to meet such special people. It is a wonderful feeling that warms ones heart.

The bond that forms is so strong, the friendship so real. This type of friendship is on a whole other level...it involves the mind, the soul and the heart, not the physical. The connection goes deeper.

Is it because you aren't face to face, in person, and can share your inner most thoughts and secrets? Is it because you are not being judged by how you look, what possessions you have or what job you go to day after day? Is it because when you write to one another, the truth comes out and you aren't afraid what the other person is thinking? Is it because the 'real you 'comes out?

The reason for this post is because one of my friends...Hippie (aka Natalie) needs our prayers.


Hippie is from Oklahoma. We began our friendship about a year ago. Starting with emails,that went right into IM's, quickly growing into phone calls. We even spoke about actually meeting each other one day.

I can't tell you the countless hours spent as we sat in front of our computers,using our web cams, laughing hard and out loud. The countless hours, days, months of chatting girl talk on the phone, telling our secrets, supporting each other through good and bad times. Whenever we needed each other, we knew we only had to 'log in' or call and bamm..we were there for each other.
Both of us going through break ups, we really leaned on each other for support.

I remember sitting in front of our computers; her helping me with my web site, me helping her with html and then realizing we had household chores to do, telling each other we'll meet back in 2 hours...I remember being on the phone while decorating our Christmas trees and telling each other the meaning behind each ornament we hung on the tree. I remember having a drink while being on the phone to toast the New Year. I remember all we shared and all that we know about each other, our families, friends and children.

I received an email that Natalie was in a motorcycle accident in Colorado. She is in a coma, had to have immediate brain surgery and is on life support. I spoke to her daughter last night and the chances are uncertain. I'm so far away and feel quite helpless. This news hit me like a ton of bricks.

So for any who are afraid to form a bond with an Internet friend..you are missing out on the wonderful friendship you can form. For anyone thinking it's not possible, you are wrong.

I believe in the power of prayer. If you are still reading this post, please include reading the prayer below...for Natalie...for anyone you feel is in need...and for YOU.

Prayer for the Sick
Watch, O Lord, with those who wake, or watch, or weep tonight, and give your angels charge over those who sleep.

Tend your sick ones, O Lord
Rest your weary ones.
Bless your dying ones.
Soothe your suffering ones.
Pity your afflicted ones.
Shield your joyous ones.
And for all your love's sake. Amen.

Saint Augustine


Please let me end this with a plea to anyone who ride motorcycles...PLEASE WEAR A HELMET












Sunday, August 19, 2007

The Ladies Room

When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied.

Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall.
You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern "seat covers" (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the floor), yank down your pants, and assume " The Stance."

In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance."

To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, "Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!" Your thighs shake more.

You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail.

Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet. "Occupied!" you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT.

It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get."

By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.

At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.

You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting.

You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, "Here, you just might need this."

As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?"

This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restrooms (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door!

Author Unknown

Friday, August 17, 2007

The Sweet Smell of Childhood

It is amazing how the sense of smell can bring back so many memories. You catch a scent of something….perfume, cologne, food, clothes just washed and hung out to dry…it takes you back to a time in your life…hopefully a happy time, but it could even stir up an unpleasant memory.

I recalled a memory this morning that kept with me the entire day. Luckily for me, this was a pleasant memory. We even had problems in the office today, but since I had such a feel good memory on my mind, I was able to just breeze thru any issues that arose.

As a child, my family would visit my aunt, uncle and cousins who lived by the beach every Sunday. A tradition that went on for many years. Our family is Italian and there’d be a house full of people…more aunts, uncles and cousins… eating macaroni and gravy (yes, gravy! And of course homemade macaroni), meatballs/sausage, braciole, salad and then of course there would be many deserts to choose from.

They lived on the bay side and allowed us kids to walk down to the dock. There, we would fish or watch the other fishermen, look for shells, watch the boats, be lazy watching the small waves rock to the shore.. We’d walk around for hours, thought how lucky we were when one of the fishermen asked us to help them. And, what a prize we had, when we were given a minnow for our pail.

I distinctly remember the smells at the bay: the salty air, the seaweed, the fish (that’s probably why I don’t eat fish now!) the railroad ties that lined the dock. When the sun beat down, you were able to smell the tar on the railroad ties.


I passed construction taking place on a bridge as I drove into work this morning. I caught a whiff of that very same scent: tar on a railroad tie! Instantly, I was brought back to being a child at the bay, hanging out on the docks. What a great time! Carefree, with skinned knees, laughing with my cousins and remembering when we got back home to my aunts, we’d all have to wash our feet. We never had shoes on. While I drove, I had a smile on my face while in my mind playing the movie of the days at the beach…I remember it just like it was yesterday.

Even now as I am recalling this to you, the smile returns….

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

A Strong Woman

A strong woman works out every day
to keep her body in shape...
but a woman of strength
kneels in prayer to keep her soul in shape...

A strong woman isn't afraid of anything ...
but a woman of strength
shows courage in the midst of her fear...

A strong woman won't let anyone
get the best of her ...
but a woman of strength
gives the best of herself to everyone...

A strong woman makes mistakes
and avoids the same in the future...
but a woman of strength
realizes life's mistakes can also be God's
blessings and capitalizes on them...

A strong woman walks sure footedly...
but a woman of strength
knows God will catch her when she falls...

A strong woman wears the look of
confidence on her face...
but a woman of strength wears grace...

A strong woman has faith that
she is strong enough for the journey...
but a woman of strength has faith
that it is in the journey that she will become strong...


Source:SikhWomen.com

Monday, August 13, 2007

Do Women Like To Fight?

I've come across an interesting question and answer page in Men's Health magazine. The questions are answered by a women. I've been reading this magazine a lot lately. The men in the office are always leaving them around.

One question caught my eye...."Why do women always want to fight?" hmmmm...


Well, if I am to be totally honest, I know what that question is all about. Have you ever wanted to talk with your significant other and felt you were being tuned out? or needed to be reassured about something, only to find you're not being paid attention or listened to? The woman wanting to feel closer by communicating, but the man is not allowing your words to sink in?

I have experienced that and the truth be told, I guess I wanted to start some kind of exchange because I wasn't getting 'any' reaction at all...maybe not a healthy way, but just didn't know how to go about it.

I remember one friend of mine actually wanting to have a 'talk', but started an argument with her boyfriend which in turn, ended their relationship. In reality that isn't what she wanted at all...she was feeling insecure and wanted to bond by communicating, but her boyfriend wasn't listening or talking back. Due to that, she felt he wasn't passionate about the relationship.Her idea might have been to start this argument to get some kind of emotion, some reassurance from her boyfriend, maybe to feel he was invested in the relationship.

Do women crave emotional exchanges? We do know most men avoid any kind of confrontation, so if he engages, does it mean he cares?

I'm thinking if men gave us 100% of their attention when we ask to talk, maybe they'll be less arguments.

Do you agree or disagree?

source: men's health

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Amber Alert

As I post this, I have the goose bumps. I know there are literally many,many children who are lost and the very thought of the parents and families having to go through such torture of not knowing where their child is, is just unimaginable for me. As a parent myself, I just couldn't imagine this ordeal.

I received the following in an email tonight and wanted to post this since the information is verified. I have received similar emails regarding lost children,but they turn out to be false.The below information was taken directly from snopes.com.

I don't understand why children have to suffer and pay the price...whether it is the difficulty the parents face while going through a divorce or something else, our dear children suffer. The innocent ones who cannot speak for themselves.

In reading the entire article at snopes.com, it states that the person who they thought was with this child, Leigh Cowen, has since been found dead of apparent suicide. There haven't been any clues where the little girl is. Maybe, just maybe, through others awareness, we can help in some way.

Child: Reachelle Smith
Age: 3
Height: 40'
Weight: 40 lbs.
Hair: Light brown straight middle of back
Eyes: brown
Clothing: no description
Additional Information (Location, Date, Time): Last seen at residence 105 16th St NW, Minot, ND on May 16, 2006 at approximately 10:30 PM.

If you have any information about this child or suspect, please call 701-852-0111 immediately. The above AMBER Alert information is available to the public by calling 511 and at www.nd.gov/amber .

Let's pray for this child and have hope that she is returned to her loved ones

Friday, August 10, 2007

More Blogging Awards ~ Thank you

Here I am again writing a post to thank a special blogging friend for not one, but TWO awards she has given me.

This is what Feel Happy said about me:



"One of the new blogs I met this month actually I loved it from the very first sight coz I felt the posts and what was written full of passion , honesty and I liked her style.
Acknowledging her blogs and appreciating her sharing of vital and valuable information in her postings, I hereby present her…"




This has warmed my heart and I am speechless. Never in a million years would I expect to receive this kind of acknowledgement. It has given me inspiration and motivation to continue to find my way in the blogging world. I keep learning from others and I am enjoying this adventure I am on. Sharing experiences, learning from others, reading other great blogs and meeting wonderful people is something I look forward to each day.
There really are good people in this world and when you find them, it's like winning the lottery!

Thank you again for thinking of me. Now I want to pass on a few awards myself. Each one of the people below have left an impression on me. They all are unique and have blogs that provide information, provoke thought and share heartfelt feelings.


Interesting Observations



jackal


Miss quotes


Attitude: The Ultimate Power


Bowrag's blog


You can find the complete details and meanings of the awards here

Thursday, August 9, 2007

SELF ESTEEM: Don't Let Anyone Take It Away ~ Conclusion

HOW SELF-ESTEEM WORKS

All of us have been conditioned to believe who we are by the words that have been said to us over the years by the people that we love, respect, and admired. If we were told positive things then we developed a high or positive self-esteem and the opposite is also true. If they told us negative things we developed a negative or low self-esteem. Basically, It develops by what is said to us repeatedly, over time- that's it , that's how it works.

is affected by the mind: The powerful mind ! The mind believes what it hears most. If you are constantly told negative things, the mind will come to believe them. It's that powerful !
If you are told over and over again that you are fat, ugly and lazy you will come to believe it. Remember the mind believes what it hears most. Well, the opposite is true . If you are told that you are thin , smart and beautiful, you will be ! The mind believes what it hears most! You can build your self- esteem with positive self dialogue.

Say positive affirmations daily, hourly, and constantly. Do it out loud to your self, in private , in the car, in the shower, etc....The mind believes what it hears most ! The mind only hears a voice, your voice or someone else's . It doesn't differentiate who is saying it. The mind only hears it . Say what you want your mind to believe about yourself and it will come to pass. Feed the mind positive talk and positive words and you soar to new heights. Repeat them regularly and often;never tire and don't stop doing it! You need to make it a way of life. You will see the positive outcomes.


STOP listening to negative talk from anybody about you. If you can't stop the talk then you need to leave! FAST !! and quick without explanation ! " I'm out of here" should be your mantra when this kind of negative talk occurs. Stop listening to negative talk and start your positive self - talk!

I know this will help - good luck !!
Your Friend , Lou De Lorca

If you have any questions or want help after reading this series, you can contact Lou directly. He is graciously giving his telephone number for my readers to use.
1-951-676-1299

Learn More about the Author: Lou De Lorca


THANK YOU Lou for being a guest here at A Circle of Women. I truly appreciate your contribution and I know this subject is one that is important to so many people...women, men, and children.

Many Blessings

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

SELF ESTEEM: Don't Let Anyone Take It Away ~ PART II

It's easy to lose your self-esteem, just remember
" misery loves company ". There are so many people living a fake life. Out in the open these people appear to be happy and content, but behind closed doors they're monsters and vampires waiting to eat and suck the life right out of you ! They come in the form of friends, spouses, family members and significant others.

The irony about self-esteem is that it can only be affected negatively or positively by people who are close to us or that we care for dearly. We rarely consider any personal comment from a stranger or acquaintance much less take to heart. But, when someone we love, respect, or admire says something personal we take it to heart and allow it to affect us !!

These people have been conditioned to see things in a negative manner and basically their self-esteem has been effected at some point in their lives and now ,they want to share in the negative perspective. When you don’t, the arguments start and the PROCESS begins ! Arguments start over the choices you make, the colors you pick, the way you drive, comb your hair, look , feel , sleep, ETC....

NOW, we begin to justify ourselves by defending our positions and choices. This sets up the barriers and then, the lines are drawn - the battle for self-esteem is on !

An interesting point to note : the titles that people have , mom , dad , brother, sister , wife, husband, boy/girl friend , good friend, can put in question and affect what we consider and affect our self--esteem. When our spouses , family members and significant others personally attack us we listen, and consider it BECAUSE the MIND tells us to . We begin to question ourselves by the mere consideration of thinking that what they said might some merit - otherwise why would they have said it? It must be true since she/he loves me ; they wouldn't have said it if it wasn't true. YES they would !

Their motives can't be explained, but this is how they take your self-esteem , your core self ; when they make the negative remark and you consider it and then you act on it - they engaged you in a losing battle ! This is IMPORTANT ! Re - read it and understand it and then commit to memory.

You have options. You don't have to listen to it ; you don't have to consider it ; and you DON'T have to act on it. Remove the titles and then see them only as a voice in the wind without the title and what they say will mean nothing !! And It won't affect you.

Look for PART III on Friday

Learn More about the Author: Lou De Lorca

Monday, August 6, 2007

SELF-ESTEEM: Don't Let Anyone Take It Away

I am honored to have an acquaintance of mine be a guest here at A Circle of Women.

I will be bringing you a 3 post series focusing on Self -Esteem. I believe more women (and men) need to boost their self-esteem and have the confidence to be successful in their lives. To feel great within their own skin...love yourself and not allow ANYONE to take away your self-esteem.

About the author: Lou De Lorca.
He lives in Temecula, California and is a Personal Life Success Coach. Over the last twenty years, he has studied humanities, education, personal improvement, leadership and instruction. He has worked with university research professors and top noted experts in the field of Meta-Cognition, Motivational Psychology, Business Leadership, and Personal Instruction, all of which are the basis for today's successful speakers, trainers and coaches.
He is the author of the Competent Writer and the creator and producer of the "Winning Life" audio series. He is also a professional inspirational speaker, motivational and leadership coach, a school reform expert and a consultant for the California Department of Education.


PART ONE:

Self - esteem is the main component of all that comprises the self - the YOU ! It's the essence of who you are. Self - esteem is the glue that holds everything together-that's why when you lose it you just seem to fall apart. And it's a downward spiral from there.

The study of self- esteem has volumes written about it but much of it is presented in a clinical format that makes it hard for the average person to understand- much less apply it. SIMPLY put self-esteem is basically how one feels about him/her self. Over the years one has encountered words and experiences that etched into our mind and our mind tells us how we feel about or we perceive ourselves; how we are, which eventually leads us to believe what we are capable of doing.

This is why self-esteem is so important . It permeates all aspects of our lives when it's depleted or gone - then our direction , perspectives and images are distorted , or dissolved. When this occurs one becomes or falls into something of the unknown. When someones self-esteem has been negatively affected or depleted a downward spiral occurs and the person becomes a victim and continues to fall until they are no longer the same person that we once knew. These victims fall prey to drug abuse , lethargy, abusive relations , and ultimately WORTHLESSNESS !

I use the term " victim " specifically because that is what people without self-esteem truly become . Anyone with low self-esteem or no self-esteem are candidates to nowhere and fast ! They are no longer the same people , and their sense of worthlessness becomes a self- fulfilling prophesy. It continues to feed itself from there.

Part II will be posted on Wednesday


More on Lou De Lorca

Saturday, August 4, 2007

A Women Should Have...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...something perfect to wear if the employer,
or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..a youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .....a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for a meal, that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ... a feeling of control over her destiny..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...how to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...how to quit a job, break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without ruining the friendship...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...that she can't change the length of her calves,the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...that her childhood may not have been perfect..but it's over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...how to live alone ~ even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.. whom she can trust, whom she can't,and why she shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...where to go...be it to her best friend's kitchen table..or a charming inn in the woods...when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...what she can and can't accomplish in a day...a month...and a year...

MAYA ANGELOU

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Zubli Strikes Again!

This time, He has given me an award. What did I do to get this, I asked him...are you sure it's me? I was actually blushing after he made me aware of this award....what a surprise.



For those of you who are not aware of or know Zubli, you are missing out. He is most generous, kind, has a huge heart and offers unconditional friendship.

From the very beginning on mybloglog, Zubli has encouraged and shared with me all aspects of blogging , life and happiness. He has been in my corner and I feel secure in knowing that if I ever need someone to go to with a problem or have a question, he WILL be there to help.

It's just amazing how even though we are miles apart, we are close. That in itself is a wonderful feeling.

He and I share at least one thing in common....we give. We give and want to help others with the intention of not getting anything back.

Thank you for honoring me.

I know I am not alone when I say....Bless you Zubli

Zubli strikes again... read what he posted about me

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