Driving into work this morning, it felt so good to feel the sunshine beat in on me. I was noticing everything around…the geese, trees, the squirrels, the drivers of the other cars, the clouds as I looked out the windows. I started singing to the song playing on the radio.
At the same time I was noticing all these wonders, I started thinking about ‘life’. That led to questioning everything touching my life…my feelings, my goals and especially my friends. Maybe because I am close to reaching a certain age number soon, I am evaluating my life thus far.
I started to ponder why I am finding that some people in my life are disappointing me. Am I expecting too much? Some do not seem real anymore. I mean to say… they are not portraying to me who they are on the inside. Everyone being the actor…telling you what you want to hear, but once your back is turned or you are out of sight....a different story. Maybe they just don't know how to be or is it just human nature to have different personalities on different occasions and with different people? One minute they exhibit morals, commitment, true friendship, love and the next minute, I notice signs that make me question it.
Who do I trust was my next thought. Once thinking I trusted all my friends, today I was examining who I can actually trust in my life.
But, People are so very fascinating, aren’t they? Do you ever people watch? I love to watch people. As I drove along and saw the many faces around, it made me think about the amount of people in the world. Isn't it amazing how we each look different… We each have our own views, opinions, perceptions.
It makes me wonder why certain people take the path they chose. Why they chose to have certain morals and ethics. I find that we aren't completely honest with one another all the time…Why is that? This just drives me nuts...
Life is just amazing and complicated and grand all at the same time.
Well, these were just some of the things that ran thru my mind this morning…thankfully I arrived at my job just in time before a full blown headache emerged !
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12 comments:
Whenever I read you,I found as I'm listening my own thoughts in echo..
Well, what you said is true..and I think thats how life is ..imperfect ,incompelete,in everything ,thats also good thing for us to try to find out the solution of problem and make it as near to perfect as much as possible..And thats why God has given us mind to do work ..work in progresss or in process thats the only thing that matter..We should try to do things as situations require but be truthful to ourselves what other do,think or react is consquence which could vary but why should we worry while any individual is doing his or her duty rightfully..God must have thought over it..I enjoy all human fallings..
You have your point and I do agree. Some people disappoints us while others don't. I think that is the reality of life, right? Have a great day AC ;D
Hye of Space of Reality
Hi Andrea, your thoughts sound so familiar..
I really haven't figured it out either..
I do think it partly has to do with expectations, expectations on your friends and close relationships. How you would hope, think people would behave, and they don't. I know I can't be disappointed when I keep my expectations low, but that really isn't the way to live either..
I do think however that part of it is also, as you noticed, being a 'different person' on different occasions. I'm not the open, sensitive person I am with my love, or the person I am with my kids, when I'm at work.
That however doesn't mean my core values change, or I would be telling lies or changing opinions.. Or I would change my behaviour towards my friends, or kids, in another surrounding..
I do think, but that's purely personal, that the people you can really trust upon, the people who are willing (and dare) to be completely honest to you are very scarce, just a few in a lifetime.. The more reason to cherish them..
Peace to you,
Ellen
I have observed that the questioning and restlessness we feel often precedes a period of growth and awareness, including self~awareness...
When people behave contrary to the way we first believed them to be, it is confusing. It's natural to wonder just what part is real, which, in turn, leads us to ask, "Can I trust this person?"
I agree with Ellen. It is common to act differently in different situations, but the core values remain the same. And it's not SO different that the person becomes unrecognizable, raising questions about his/her character. If THAT happens, a red flag goes up. That is intuition. That's when we need to be a little more cautious, stepping back to observe a bit more, becoming more detached emotionally, at least until there is some CONSISTENCY of behavior, something that feels stable and grounded.
The primary reason we EXPECT things from people is because they have given us GOOD REASON to EXPECT those things in the first place. THEY have set the precedent. We are just responding to what we have already (previously) experienced with them. However, If the rules suddenly change, we are left wondering, "What happened?" or "What is going on here?"
That is the distinction between unrealistic expectations (expecting too much) of someone and legitimate expectations.
It is amazing that this kind of experience can cause us to doubt OURSELVES. It has happened to me.
We ask, "Is it me? What did I do?"
The detachment can help us get some clarity about the situation and avoid getting pulled into the whirlwind of sudden changes and confusion.
Some people's lives are so out of control that they will resort to controlling whatever (whoever) they can. If they can keep us tapdancing to their tune, participating in their drama (of changing behaviors and rules), it allows them to feel that they have some control over something. They remain the center of our focus, which ties up our resources, yet requires nothing of them.
Take comfort. There are chameleons out there who are incapable of stability, but there are people who
are grounded and capable of consistent, mature behavior. Sometimes it just takes time and observation to know who's who.
I will add one more thought...
Once we've experienced something extraordinary it is very hard to let go.
It's so interesting for me to be reading this. Because a few minutes ago, in my kitchen, the thought came to me of how certain are one way in your face but behind your back they are talking bad about you. That is amazing and, you know, that is life. We live in a dark world with a few lights around.
Thank you all for visiting and sharing your thoughts. Your comments have all helped me with this time in question. I ponder quite frequently the issues I posted about here.
The reality of life is... it is not perfect and no one experiencing life is either.
Ellen, you said it best when you mentioned that there are only a few people that touch our life that are real, true and committed. I do wish there can be more, but it just doesn't seem to be that way.
Robin pointed out just as Ellen did about having different personalities with different people, depending on the situation. I believe that is true with me also, but as Robin mentioned, my core beliefs and morals never change. However, some people in my life I am finding, do change and that's what I was questioning.
Robin, as always I find your thought process to be right on target and you have helped me in a few situations. I truly look forard to hearing from you because I am learning quite a bit (you CAN teach an old dog new tricks...haha)
Your comment here hit quite a few subjects that have touched my life recently and I think you may know what I am referring to.
Your final thought: Once we've experienced something extraordinary it is very hard to let go. It is SO very true...
I have been experiencing a period of self growth and awareness. It is exciting, but at the same time quite scary for I have had to detach from some people in my life which has caused backlash on me, both in my personal life and business world.
I will survive...
Fire talker,
So glad to have you here and thank you for sharing. Isn't it amazing that you were thinking along the lines of this post and then you found yourself reading about the same very subject and comments from others? Things do happen for a reason... I do hope what you have read here has helped you as it did me.
I loved your line: We live in a dark world with a few lights around... that is the BEST! and so true. Thank you
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