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Thursday, December 20, 2007

Do You Fear Rejection?

My young co-worker has had his eye on a certain female for quite awhile now. We talk frequently about her and when I asked if he wanted to ask her on a date, he said...sure, but I'm not.
Why not I asked. His answer...because she might say no.

Well, I was blown away. Here is a confident young man in other areas of his life, but he's afraid he'll be rejected. I mentioned taking chances is what life is about. If you don't take a chance, you will live with the regret of never knowing...the what if's...

Rejection can come in many different ways. Rejection in romance, families, business, friends and even strangers. If the fear of rejection is such a big obstacle, what can you do about it?

Well, I think that if you have high self esteem, it isn't such a big deal if someone you asked out turns you down. If you have low self esteem, I think working on that area will help.You're still the same person you were before you asked. You actually gave the person you asked out a compliment just by showing you wanted to spend more time with them. You had the courage to ask someone out and if you get turned down, you're not going to die. Your life doesn't depend on the approval of this person.

If you get turned down once, twice or even more than that, there is certainly a chance that someone else will say 'yes'...so keep positive. Sure it can be disappointing or even discouraging, but if you try not to take it personally, you'll see you can live through rejection. Maybe a person says 'no' for other reasons and has nothing to do with you at all. Rejection can actually turn you into a stronger, more confident and determined person instead of being weak or afraid.

Its all in your state of mind and how you view rejection. Looking at rejection as a negative will cause you to have negative feelings. Letting yourself look at things in a positive manner will keep you strong and ready for the next time you are ready to ask someone out. Take a chance...you never know until you do.

If anyone has any tips, stories to share on this subject, please leave a comment.

6 comments:

Cooper said...

I have no tips but I often wonder what it is in the history of some people which cause rejection to stop them cold while for others rejection just fuels the fire, or at the very last makes them keep on going and try harding.

I was always told "without the bumps we are nothing". I always believed it.

Cooper said...

Oh, and have a great holiday.

Ellen said...

I always tell my children: "you'll never know until you tried", and first and foremost, to believe in themselves. That's already have of the work, in everything you try.

For asking someone out, I do think there are other things that come into consideration. Having the fun of your 'fantasies' for what might be, of flirting a bit, might (for some) be worth not taking the chance to ruin that all. Even if taking that chance might also lead to the real thing (which also could be a disappointment).

Anyhow, I do believe that things will work out the way they were supposed to. So, if your two colleagues were 'meant to be together', they will.. Might take some time though ;-))..

Happy holidays to you!!

Ajayprabhu said...

Life is all about trial and error in all walks of life so I don't understand if somebody fear so much of his rejection in different times in life.We should accept it as it is natural because nobody is perfect and nobody is always get success in every field he attempts..So try till last breath because thats what life's meaning and motive for all humanmankind,I think that's why we came on earth to explore...

WaterLearner said...

Thanks for this great post. I must admit. I do fear Rejection. But I intend to work on it.

Thanks! Your post serves as a good reminder to me!

AC Associates said...

Cooper,
I guess everyone is different in their thought process. Why? I'm sure it is due to many factors in their upbringing. Who ever told you, without the bumps we are nothing.., is right on.
Hope you have a great holiday. Happy new year...

Ellen
Thanks for visiting and sharing your thoughts. Your kids should be proud to have you as their mom. Teaching your children respect and to love themselves is so important.
I always told my son to try and if it didn't work the first time, try again. Never give up.

Ajay,
As usual, beautiful thoughts, but not everyone believes...

Waterlearner,
I appreciate your visit. Admitting fear of rejection is hard for some people. Oh, I have my weak moments too, but then talk myself right out of it. I believe in taking chances. Living with regret is too hard to live with...not knowing...the what if's
Happy New Year! It seems you have already made your first resolution :o)

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