A place to inspire, motivate and encourage by providing posts on self improvement, health, family, women (and men), life, prayer, poems, quotes of wisdom and share ideas about life.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

If You Didn't Like Your Friends Partner, Would You End Your Friendship?

Poll results are:

60% said 'Not Sure'
40% said 'NO'

Most of the polls I have hosted here have surprised me in one way or another. I guess surprise isn't the best word to describe my reaction to this poll. I think my feeling is more one of disappointment. I surely thought more of you would NOT even consider ending a friendship because you didn't like your friends partner.

Friendship is something I do not take for granted. I value a true bond of friendship, for a true friend does not come along very often. Many people come and go in our lives. It's said that most people can count on one hand the number of true friends they have in their life. I am speaking of true friends here, not acquaintances.

To me, lifetime friends are built on unconditional love and continued friendship. I believe that some people have lost sight of the meaning of true friendship. As the poll indicated, 60% were not sure if they would end the friendship if they didn't like their friends partner. I wouldn't even consider that and the thought would never enter my mind.

I was in that situation many years ago, but chose to accept my friends decision. After all, she was the one living with this person. She fell in love with him. It wasn't my choice, but hers. Just because I didn't like my friends partner, it didn't change the person she was nor did it change our friendship. In respecting my friend and our friendship, I was cordial and respectful to him. Wouldn't I want the same in return if the situation was reversed? True friendship involves freedom of choice...

I believe true friendship is based on loyalty, forgiveness, honesty, and dedication. Friends often share likes and dislikes, interests, pursuits, and passion. Friends share a sense of caring and concern. Friends make no judgments and accept differences and want each other to grow and develop.

Yes, I do believe friends and people come into our lives for a reason, a season or lifetime, but lifetime friends should be cherished, not easily cast aside, especially in this world that can be phony and temporary.

******

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it; it is real; but only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

******

"Portrait of a Friend"

I can't give solutions to all of life's problems, doubts,
or fears. But I can listen to you, and together we will
search for answers.

I can't change your past with all it's heartache and pain,
nor the future with its untold stories.
But I can be there now when you need me to care.

I can't keep your feet from stumbling.
I can only offer my hand that you may grasp it and not fall.

Your joys, triumphs, successes, and happiness are not mine;
Yet I can share in your laughter.

Your decisions in life are not mine to make, nor to judge;
I can only support you, encourage you,
and help you when you ask.

I can't prevent you from falling away from friendship,
from your values, from me.
I can only pray for you, talk to you and wait for you.

I can't give you boundaries which I have determined for you,
But I can give you the room to change, room to grow,
room to be yourself.

I can't keep your heart from breaking and hurting,
But I can cry with you and help you pick up the pieces
and put them back in place.

I can't tell you who you are.
I can only love you and be your friend.
--Unknown

3 comments:

jessicaper said...

I would never quit communicating with my friend even if she has a partner I don't like. It's not my problem and I don't have the right to choose the partner for my friend.

Zen Lill said...

I always thought I wouldn't until said partner swore at my kid, for something she didn't do and right in front of me, I gave him the opportunity to make it right, he didn't, what he did do was force her to stop the friendship, but I would've done it anyway. I will not teach my daughter that its ok to be disrespected by males under any circumstances. I still miss my friend but she's made her choice, lousy one that it is...

AC Associates said...

Jessicaper,
Thanks for visiting and sharing your opinion. I believe we think alike on this one!

Hello Zen,
I'm sorry you had such an awful experience.
You are doing right by teaching your daughter to never be disrespected. That's something I believe some women allow and it's simply not right at all.
Maybe one day your former friend will see the light and realize she lost a wonderful person in her life.

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